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Archived Newsletters can currently be found on this page but will soon
be removed and published in spiral-bound editions by year.
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Taking My Breath Away
Quote of the Day: "Life is not measured by the number
of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away."
I
was fortunate enough to fly to Atlanta over the weekend with my daughter, Cristina, who is eleven, to attend the wedding of
our former choir director form Miami. (The very one who took our choir to perform in Carnegie Hall.) We were both so excited
we coudl hardly sleep the night before. The thought of seeing all of our old Miami friends--as well as dear family from
Kentucky who had relocated to Atlanta---was almost more than we
could bear.
Saturday night I walked into the church as the harp, violin,
and
flute had just begun to play. The candles were lit, and the
church was slowly filling up. I was surprised as an
usher grabbed
me from behind; he was none other than the gentleman from New
York who had arranged our Carnegie Hall trip. He escorted me
right down to the
second row, where all of my Miami friends were
already seated. As the church was not yet filled-although
it was
certainly quiet enough-we made quite a scene as
they jumped up
and engulfed me with generous hugs and kisses. And then Kathy,
one of my travel buddies to New York, said "Oh dear! I've just
gotten lipstick all over your gorgeous
suit!" And sure enough, on
the sleeve of my granny-smith-apple-green (the color for which my
obsession for it should
probably have me medicated) suit was a
pale pink lipstick smudge. It was an Escada suit, bought at a
consignment shop
(see Strategy 7 of ROCKET MOM! 7 Strategies To Blast You Into Brilliance) and, even at consignment prices, was
not
inexpensive.
She felt horrible about it. But what could I do?
No matter. I got to thinking-as I sat quietly
in my pew
listening to the strains of the harp-about the number of people
who would gladly trade a lipstick smudge on
an expensive suit
for any one of those slobbery hugs I so enjoyed. I thought of
folks sitting in other pews who might
have recently lost their
lover, their husband or wife, their child, their best friend, or
their betrothed. How fabulous
would a hug from them have felt
that night?
How many times do we-as mothers-forego a hug from our little ones
because
strawberry jam is sticking to their fingers, or food
remains on their tiny wet lips? Are we worried that we'll get our
new
t-shirt dirty, that we'll ruin the make-up we so carefully
just applied to our freshly scrubbed face, or that the
interruption
of the hug will make us late to an appointment?
Perhaps I have gained perspective over the years. Call it rarely
getting
a hug from my sixteen-year-old son, or even from
Cristina, for that matter. Call it worrying about my sixteen-year-
old
when he has almost exceeded curfew, and rejoicing when I hear
the garage door screech up on its chain. Call it realizing
with
unhappy certainty that my eight-year-old's goodnight squeezes
will in the not-too-distant-future be a thing of
the past.
So forget clothing. Forget your perfect make-up. You can always
deal with dirt. That is, afterall, why
drycleaning was invented.
Steal those hugs and kisses like there's no tomorrow. And see how
many moments you can add
to life by the number of breaths it
takes away.
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Celebration
is Essential to Humanity
Quote
of the Day: "How good is man's life, the mere living! how fit to employ All the heart and the soul and the
senses forever in joy!" Robert Browning
Part of the human experience is to celebrate life with other
people
whom you love, to reminisce of past shared events, and to
anticipate exciting times ahead.
Throughout the ages people
have had cause to celebrate life. The
sun's rising at each new day has been reason enough throughout
the history of
the world. Maybe you use the morning sun as your
singular wake-up call to begin yet another cause to celebrate
life.
The ancient Greeks held festivals to honor their pagan
gods. They painted scenes of these celebrations on vases and on
the
walls of their temples. The Psalmists wrote praises to the
Creator God, and harpists and trumpets played triumphantly,
while
others sang joyous choruses.
Americans and Canadians are in preparation to offer thanks with
large feasts
and family gatherings on Thursday, Thanksgiving Day.
Grocery shopping, trips to the store for fresh candles, and
endless
hours of cooking and baking all contribute to the
celebration.
But let's never lose sight of the real cause for
celebration,
and for honoring the tradition which we have come to cherish.
The Pilgrims shared feasts to thank our gracious
God for all
of the provisions He made for them during that gruesome year
after settlement here in our country. During
that year, when
roughly half of them died from the frigid winter and from lack
of food, those remaining knew they had
cause for celebration.
And they knew that the source for celebration was their God of
grace and love.
Let us
be ever-mindful this week to give due pause for all of the
blessings for which we are thankful. Loving family relationships--
with
both those in your immediate family as well as those in your
extended family--numerous friends, generous and helpful
neighbors,
members of your church family, and men and women in
the armed forces who are bravely protecting our freedoms, all
deserve
outward expressions of gratitude. Good health, fine
clothing, a warm home, and even comfortable shoes...all offer
reasons
enough to be thankful.
As you gather around your table on Thursday, take time with those
you love to openly express
those things for which you are most
thankful. Use this opportunity to build happy memories with your
family. And use
this opportunity to thank our generous and
gracious God.
The gift of a rich childhood, complete with happy memories
of
shared celebrations, of generations-old traditions, and of solid,
loving relationships with people with whom you
can greet each new
day with expectant optimism, all combine to build a heritage of
celebration. Consider traditions
that you want to instill into
your children's lives. Is it a family recipe for stuffing? Or of
a decadent pecan pie?
Do you bring out collectible pilgrim
figurines? Do you collect candles that exude fall aromas? Do you
prepare Thanksgiving
dinner to a traditional musical masterpiece?
These will all build memeories into your children, who will no
doubt impart
these same touches to their holiday celebrations
with their own children.
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Music is Essential
to Life Itself
Quote of the Day:
"I have always felt that children should be brought into contact with fine music as
early as possible because taste is molded when we are young." Fritz Kreisler
Do
your kids have a song in their heart? Do they float through
the day singing?
All children love music and all children
love to sing. In fact,
anthropologists believe that music has existed since early man,
and that since then, there has
never been a culture without it.
Anne Blood, a researcher who conducted studies at McGill
University in Montreal, found
that the "neural mechanisms of
music may have originally developed as a way of communicating
emotion as a precursor
to speech, offering insights into how the
mind integrates sensory information with emotion and meaning."
All children
are different, and some certainly have more of an
artistic bent than others, but the love of music is inherent to
all
children.
In a massive research project generated at the University of
California
at Berkeley,
spearheaded by Dr. Marian Diamond,
professor of anatomy, it has been proven that the cortex of our
brain represents
85 percent of brain mass and handles our
intellectual functions, while the limbic system, weighing in at
15 percent,
handles our emotional functions. One of the
surprising results of the study is that it is this under-
represented limbic
system that may quite possibly hold the key to
our very survival. Research shows that the emotional area of our
brain
is as necessary for survival as is the intellectual side,
if not more so. It has also been shown that music and the arts
utilize
both the cortex and the limbic systems and that both are
essential ingredients for learning patterns that last, and
essential
indeed for our very survival!
Sharlene Habermeyer concludes in her outstanding treatise Good
Music Brighter Children:
"You simply cannot study music and the
arts without feeling joy, happiness, love, tenderness, sorrow,
humor, and so
on, and when we allow these emotions to be a part
of the learning process, our education becomes richer, more
meaningful,
longer lasting, and has greater impact on our lives."
Or as Dr. Diamond reprimands: "One without the other is only half
an
experience."
Mark Jude Tramo, a neurobiologist with the Harvard Medical
School, writes:
"music is biologically part of human life, just
as music is aesthetically part of human life."
In short, the human need to create and appreciate music is basic
to
life itself.
This was obvious to me yesterday as I observed hundreds of
children at our town's Family Concert, led
by our symphony
orchestra and special guest performer, Dan Kamin, a
critically acclaimed musical mime. Children and
adults alike
squealed with absolute delight as he pantomimed silly antics
while the orchestra performed selections ranging
from
Kabalevsky to Strauss.
How are you instilling
a musical heritage into your children?
Consider treating them to a Holiday concert by the local
symphony, to the Nutcracker ballet at Christmas,
to caroling
around your town, to participating in Holiday music at your place
of worship, or to investing in a few new excellent quality CD's
of
classical masterpieces.
Watch for many more
detailed musical selections in the next few
newsletters as we prepare for the
Holiday season before us! And
start thinking today of
ways in which you can incorporate music
into the fabric of your day.
Goal-Setting
and Vision-Casting
Quote
of the Day: "You don't get points for predicting rain. You get points for building an ark." Louis Gerstner,
former Chairman and CEO of IBM
It's that time of year again: time to reflect back on the past
year and evaluate relationships; examine areas where you spent your valuable time, money, and energy; ponder goals set last
year and revise new ones accordingly; and count your many blessings.
As I spend time these next few days looking over
notes from years
past, I will make every effort to draft goals for 2004 that help
me move further down the path of the
kind of person I hope to
become. My goal every year is to become more saint-like, and many
areas in my life need to
be addressed in order to help me evolve
-- step by step -- to that end.
I will not suppose that what works for me
will work for you. I
will only share what I do in the hope that it might help you as
you prepare for the coming new
year.
I rely on my Filofax, where I write all of my goals down in
colored ink on colored paper. Over the years I
have called my
goals various things, but as of last year they became known as
the "6 F's." Here goes...
1) FAITH
How
can I get myself further down the spiritual path and become
more saintlike? Specific steps I might record to get me closer
to
my goal would include: disciplined and consistent reading of
scripture, journaling, reading books on spirituality,
plugging
into a charitable organization whose vision fits that of my
family's, taking a mission trip, maintaining a
"bloom where
planted" attitude about life, etc.
2) FAMILY
How can our family -- including my husband, our
four kids,
myself, and the dog -- become the strongest and happiest group of
people as we share life together? And what
things do I need to be
pro-actively instilling into our family's structure to ensure
happy childhoods for each of our
four kids? What is my vision for
each child? What gifts and talents does this child have and what
do we need to do to
help him develop them for other people's
benefit? Specific steps might include: planning a family summer
vacation, replacing
TV with a family reading night, investments
in music lessons, commitment to sports teams, scheduling weekly
date nights,
etc.
3) FRIENDS
How can I maintain the many friendships that I have formed over
the years given the great
physical distances that separate us,
and how can I form new friendships with people who cross my path?
Specific steps
would include scheduled trips to visit
girlfriends, frequent long-distance phone calls, celebrating
birthdays with gifts
and cards, continuing Christmas gift-giving
traditions, etc.
4) FINANCIAL
How do we become more financially
independent? How do we reduce
debt and increase wealth? Steps would include my making a list of
a realistic number of
books to sell, seminars to schedule,
articles to write, investments to make, savings goals to meet,
tithing commitments
to keep, etc.
5) FITNESS
How can I maintain a health and fitness regimen that keeps me in
optimal physical
and emotional health -- while maintaining kids
who are too young to maintain themselves? Specific steps would
include
scheduling a realistic number of trips to the gym per
week, weekly commitments to swimming and tennis, and to weight
training,
etc.
6) FUN
What things would I enjoy doing personally and with my family
that would help me enjoy life to
its fullest? I would include
specific trips and dates with Ernie, plans for vacations with the
kids, Broadway shows,
season tickets to the philharmonic, oil
painting classes, etc.
Studies show that people who record their goals IN
WRITING have
a much greater chance of accomplishing them. Spend quality time
thinking about specific goals that you'd
like to make in your
life. Begin the process now. Let your sub-conscious absorb the
goals and let it help you figure
out ways in which to make these
goals realistically attainable. Consider your life stage. A trip
to the gym might be
quite realistic for me but a pipe dream for
you if you have a newborn or a couple of toddlers underfoot.
Don't fret
that your goals seem out of whack or not grand
enough. Go easy on yourself and resolve to come up with goals
that fit
where you are and where you'd like to be by the end of
the year. And remember to have fun with the process. Enjoy a
glass
of red wine and sit by the fire while you doodle your
thoughts. Dream. Imagine.
ONE FINAL THOUGHT: Remember to count
your blessings of this past
year. Make a list. We are each coming to the dinner table New
Year's Eve night with our
individual Top Ten Lists. Consider
making this a New Year's Eve tradition in your family, too.
Nothing makes one feel
better about the world than counting all
the ways in which you have been uniquely blessed.
Rocket
Mom's Top Ten List
Quote
of the Day: "It is impossible to live a pleasant
life without living wisely and well and justly, and it is impossible to live wisely and well and justly without living pleasantly."
Epicurus (third century B.C.)
Several
of you readers have emailed me requesting clarification
of both my method of writing down my goals, as well as more
detailed
information on our "Top Ten List."
More about goals later....
The "Top Ten List" was my husband's idea and I
give him all the
credit. He simply announced in the last week of the year that by
January 1 he wanted all of us to come
up with our individual Top
Ten lists for 2003, and to be prepared to share them with the
family. They could be the Top
Ten things that brought us the most
joy; the Top Ten most fun things of the year; the Top Ten most
significant things....there
was certainly room for
interpretation. Each list was to be drafted privately, without
the help of another sibling to
refresh one's memory, or to feed
one ideas.
We had forgotten that our
oldest son would be traveling back to New York from Miami all day New Year's Day and would arrive home
late that
night, exhausted and in less than perfect humor. Small
detail, and bingo on that one...
Nonetheless, we all wound
up writing our lists in due time and
read them yesterday over lunch at the local diner we frequent
most Sundays immediately
following church. Sitting at our usual
table--tucked off in the corner--our boisterous family chattered
about all kinds
of stuff. We ate and then Ernie pulled out the
lists. He passed them out and, going in reverse birth order,
each child,
followed by me and then ending with Ernie, read our
Top Ten's.
I was caught totally off-guard. Given our family's
move this
summer from Miami to Connecticut, we had done some pretty
spectacular things right before leaving Florida:
visiting the
Keys, going to Sea Bird Key, a wonderful private island as guests
of the owners (www.seabirdkey.com), snorkeling and scuba-diving,
going out on the boat, spending
time on South Beach. Of course
all of these memories made our individual Top Ten's.
But I was totally disarmed by
a couple other things that made it.
Victor included throwing baseball with his dad as one of his Top
Ten. Ben included
tossing football with dad. Cristina included
paying in the snow during our first nor'easter.
Simple pleasures. Things
that didn't cost a dime. Old-
fashioned fun. Playing. Spending time with dad. Or mom.
Hanging out with friends.
I
encourage you to do the "Top Ten" with your family. It's not
too late. Just do it sometime this week. We're all getting
back
into the groove anyway. But I also highly encourage you, when
thinking about your goals for your family for 2004,
to be
intentional about creating happy childhood memories that will
make it to your child's Top Ten at the start of
2005. Be pro-
active in planning family fun. Be strategic about family
activities. And leave plenty of room--of course!--for
spontaneity.
Build in that critical "down time." Taking walks,
throwing football, baking brownies...it is these simple pleasures
that
are, afterall, the best stuff of life.
Keeping the Spirit
Quote of the Day: "Each age has deemed the new-born year, The fittest
time for festal cheer." Sir Walter Scott
On Friday night,
I learned my limitation. I took ten pre-teen
girls to the ice rink--along with little brother Victor, who had
never
ice skated in his life.
At fortysomething, I had no deep-seated desire to
skate; the
girls afterall would skate by themselves and completely ignore
me. I was cold. I was sore from my early-morning
tennis game and
half-hour workout with weights. In tiny Ridgefield, Connecticut
in January, ice skating on a Friday night is as good as it gets:
the place was packed.
Clearly two hundred children and hormone-
impaired middleschoolers were lacing up, while little Victor
begged me to
skate alongside him, at this never-before-seen rink,
with an almost-desperate look on his face.
Of course I had
to oblige. "How tough could this be anyway?" I
thought as I snapped on my rented skates. "I work out everyday,"
I reassured
myself. I skated as a kid. We'll take it slowly. I
look the part, what with my jeans, turtleneck, and down vest. I
mean...I
could pass for one of these kids if you caught me at the
right angle!
We got onto the ice, Victor holding my hand
with a look of "Can I
do this, Mom?" and me with an "it's-like-riding-a-bike-you-never-forget-how" assurance.
The
first time around was, well, awkward would be an
understatement. I was wobbly. Victor held me up. When I asked him
how
he was doing, he was clearly in control. "I rollerblade,
remember, Mom?" Oh yeah...that.
Dozens of wiry boys...barely
as high as my kneecap...who had
clearly been skating since they could crawl...zigzagged in and
out of my path like cockroaches
when caught in the dark by a quickly-turned-on light. Whippersnappers! In and out they skated, so fast and
with such precision
that it took my misted-breath away.
Did I mention the strobe lights? Just when I thought it was safe
to look down
and see where I was going, the lights playing on the
ice only made me dizzy. I was reassured by my assessment when
Victor
exclaimed: "Mom, don't look down! You'll throw up!"
By the third or fourth time around, I was feeling much more
confident.
But when a pre-teen girl caught sight of a hottie and
abruptly skated backwards...directly in front of me...I was
knocked
smack on the ice. I landed on my wrists, and fully
realized how hard the ice really is...and how much more brittle
my
bones are at my age...when I picked myself up with a half-
laugh and an under-my-breath grunt of "I hope he was worth it."
We
were great, Victor and I. He took to the ice like a duck to
water and passed me whenever he could, checking in with me
every
few dozen yards to make sure I was still alive. The second crash
was my swan song; I exited to the slightly warmer
viewing room
with ice on my butt and two clearly bruised wrists, totally
ticked off that these kids had gotten the best
of me.
Five minutes later, I reminded myself why I was there in the
first place: I had a 9-year-old son who needed
me, for crying out
loud! It was back to the ice for another half-hour. Round and
round we went, avoiding the whippersnappers
and pre-teen girls
with a vengeance. My daughter and her nine friends?
Forgetaboutem. Caught in their own little world-on-ice,
checking
out each face that whirled past them, I was only the night-time
driver and MasterCard-holder.
The evening
ended with hot cocoa drunk by giggling, rosy-cheeked
girls. Victor, encouraged by my proddings of "You're doing so
great!"
now had his sights set on ice hockey. And my left wrist,
though clearly black and blue from a dozen broken blood vessels,
was
not much worse for the wear.
Will we do that again? Absolutely. Cold air, oxygen to the brain,
rosy cheeks, laughter,
friends, bonding with my kids, and a sense
of community in this New England town of mine are just too
compelling.
Looking like a fool when I fall? Black-and-blue reminders
of my
middle age? Bruises to my ego? Well...that's all part of
motherhood.
Keeping the spirit of the holidays
after the holidays have
clearly passed is one of the challenges of being a Rocket Mom.
Keep your eyes wide open for
opportunities throughout the next
couple winter months to create special memories with your kids.
Be it snow-skiing,
ice skating, or sledding; or creating unique
pottery at your local paint bar...be prepared for giggles and memory-
making...and
check your ego at the door.
Valentine's Day for Lovers and Those You Love
"Little Things"
The little things are most
worthwhile
A loving word,
A look, a smile
Though sometimes they may seem quite small
These little things mean
most of all.
To thank you for the little things
That you so often do
And to tell you that it is so wonderful
To
have your love and you.
by Kim Jones
I
want to share with you the short version of the origin of
Valentine's Day, both to give you perspective as well as to help
you
figure out festive-yet appropriate-ways in which you might
celebrate the day.
The first interpretation originated
as a pagan tradition in the
third century. During this time hordes of hungry wolves roamed
outside of
Rome,
where shepherds kept their flocks. The God
Lupercus was said
to watch over the shepherds and their flocks to
keep them from the wolves. Every February the Romans celebrated
with
"The Feast of Lupercus" to honor him. At the same time, the
Romans honored the goddess Juno Februata, and celebrated by
placing
the names of young women into a box from which they were
drawn
by lot. Boys and girls who matched would be considered
partners for the year. This celebration continued long after
wolves
were a problem to Rome.
As Christianity became prevalent, priests attempted to replace
these
heathen practices, so they renamed The Feast of Lubercus to
St. Valentine's Day. To give the celebration further meaning,
priests
substituted the drawing of Saints names for the names of
the girls, and on St. Valentine's Day the youth was supposed to
emulate
the life of the saint whose name he or she had drawn.
Over the next two centuries or so, tradition would revert back
and
forth between using girls' names and saintly names, with
alternating success and failure.
While it can't be proven
historically, there were seven men named
Valentine who were honored with feasts on February 14th. Of these
men, two stories link incidents that could have given our present
day
meaning to St. Valentine's Day. One of these men named
Valentine was a priest during the reign of Emperor Claudius.
Valentine
was revered by the young and old, rich and poor, with
people from all walks of life attending his religious services.
At
this time, Emperor Claudius was heavily recruiting men to
serve as soldiers for his wars, but without much success, as
the
men dreaded leaving their wives, families, and sweethearts behind
to fight in foreign lands. Claudius became angry
and declared
that no more marriages could be performed, and all formal
engagements were cancelled. Valentine thought
this to be unfair,
so he secretly married several couples. When Claudius found out,
he threw Valentine in prison where
he later died.
Another version had St. Valentine jailed for helping Christians.
While Valentine was in prison he
cured a jailer's daughter of
blindness. Claudius became enraged and had Valentine clubbed and beheaded on February 14, 269 A.D.
Yet another story claims
that Valentine fell in love with the
jailer's daughter and wrote her letters that were signed "From
your Valentine."
All
of the seven Valentines eventually evolved into one, and in
496 A.D., Pope Gelasius declared the day in honor of St.
Valentine.
Through the centuries the Christian holiday became a
time to exchange love messages and St. Valentine became the
patron
saint of lovers.
OK. So Now What?
How do we leap from Lupercus to St. Valentine to celebrating
the tradition
some fifteen hundred years later? And should we
even bother?!
Absolutely. The beauty of the holiday is that it presents
wonderful
opportunities to send love messages to all those people
who bless your life.
Traditional Valentine's messages were
simply that: messages.
Chocolate, flowers, expensive dinners out, and extravagant gifts
have evolved over time from
honest, humble, well-intentioned
lovers to those sneaky giants in the hospitality and
confectionary industries more
interested in making a strong
bottom line.
That said, my recommendations:
. Coffee in bed. My very favorite
love act. (Well.one of them.)
. Handmade love messages-from silly to sincere-to family and
friends. Hearts and red
ink are mandatory. Use those rubber
stamps and cut-outs you've been collecting. And check out the
wonderful new Valentine's
stamps at the Post Office, too!
. Heart-shaped pancakes, muffins, French toast, waffles, cookies,
brownies, rice
krispie treats, lunchbox sandwiches.to anything
which a heart-shaped cookie cutter, cast-iron mold, or waffle
iron will
do the job: use it!
. Small treats to family and friends. To my little guy's teacher,
it means handmade stationery
and cookies wrapped with a pretty
bow; to my kids, it means heart-shaped boxes stuffed with a
little bit of money; to
my daughter's friends, it means small
teddy bears.
. Do something unexpected! Send your Valentine flowers, or a
balloon,
or have something delivered. Can you meet somewhere for
a secret tryst?
. Scatter love notes throughout the house,
with family member's
names written on envelopes. Mark "DO NOT OPEN UNTIL FEBRUARY 14."
. Include lunchbox love notes
all week long. And pack a handful
of chocolate kisses in there, too!
. Your hubbie's favorite dinner. That might
mean dinner out-in
which case you get off easy!-or it might mean spending the day
doing something extra sweet for him.
Don't forget the candles,
cloth napkins, silver, and china. If you drink wine, let it be
red. Try to plan it so that
the kids are already bedded down.
. A massage, bubble bath, or Jacuzzi soak with your honey. No
advice on that one.
.
A wildly romantic Valentine card for your hubby-or a poem you
made up yourself. Love poems are a Valentine's Day tradition!
.
Roses remain the Valentine flower of choice. Rose re-spelled
spells Eros. Give one or give a dozen. Red.
. Chocolate.
Very dark. And plenty of it.
In the end, being a faithful Valentine means looking out for the
needs and affections
of those you love-and the willingness to
show it. See what small acts of kindness you can do today-and all
week long-to
celebrate the tradition of Valentine's Day, the
tradition of Love.
"Valentine
Food For Thought"
Cabbage always has a heart; Green beans string along.
You're such a cute
tomato, Will you peas to me belong?
You've been the apple of my eye, You know how much I care;
So lettuce get together,
We'd make a perfect pear.
Now, something's sure to turnip to prove you can't be beet;
So, if you carrot all for me let's
let our tulips meet.
Don't squash my hopes and dreams now, Bee my honey, dear; Or tears will fill potato's eyes, While
sweet corn lends an ear. I'll cauliflower shop and say, Your dreams are parsley mine. I'll work and share my celery, So be
my valentine.
by Jeanne Losey
We
Celebrate Dr. Seuss
Quote
of the Day: “You’re off to Great Places! Today is your day!
Your mountain is waiting. So…get on your way! From Oh, the Places You’ll Go! Dr. Seuss
Tomorrow marks the 100th anniversary of Theodor Seuss Geisel. The best-selling
children’s author in history, known to millions of children—and parents—around the world as Dr. Seuss, would
have been 100 on Tuesday.
His life
will be celebrated everywhere, but most particularly in Springfield, Massachusetts, which honors its most famous native with
an elephant named Horton, a tower of turtles stacked ten high, the Grinch, Sam-I-Am and the Lorax, a pair of Things and a
man-sized, smiling cat in a stovepipe hat—all cast in bronze by his step-daughter Lark Grey Dimond-Cates.
The occasion
will also be celebrated in San Diego, near his home in La Jolla, and where The Theodor Seuss Geisel
Library stands. It is also where a Geisel postage stamp will debut as part of this year-long “Seussentennial.”
The allure
of Dr. Seuss, whose books are proclaimed by icon Maurice Sendak as “works of sheer genius” lies in rhythmic, rhyming,
almost sing-songy cadence. (1) “You almost sang the words, “said Springfield newspaper executive and Seuss friend David
Starr. (2) What with his 44 books selling over 500 million copies—and two of them: How the Grinch Stole Christmas
and The Cat in the Hat spawning blockbuster movies—who amongst us Rocket Moms do not have at least one of
his yarns memorized? As proof positive to his overwhelming influence, Professor Jim Farrelly of the University of Dayton asked 90 students last
fall to name a Seuss book, quote one of its couplets and identify its lesson. Nine in ten were able to do all three. (3)
All of the
Seuss books have a lesson. “They all have the theme,” Starr says. “Goodness triumphs. Bad people are put
down. And you can find it in book after book. There was a naiveté to Seuss, and the naiveté is that you really think that
people are good and that the world can be improved. He was an optimist.” (4)
And he always
fought for “the little guy,” for the disenfranchised amongst us. As proclaimed in Yertle the Turtle: “I
know up on top you are seeing great sights, but down at the bottom we, too, should have rights.” And from Horton
Hears a Who: “Don’t give up! I believe in you all! A person’s a person, no matter how small!”
As I so often
say, we glean the most insights from lessons that have been condensed into the fewest words. And this, the good doctor did
brilliantly.
March 2 is
also Read Across America day, when the National Education Association urges us to participate in reading events, and when
I, personally, will be celebrating Seuss’s genius with green eggs and ham for breakfast and down time on the sofa with
a stack of his books. I encourage you to do the same. Surround yourself—if even for just a day—with the simple
teachings of Theodor Seuss Geisel, and see if you, like millions around the globe, discover anew the joy of his messages and
the sheer genius waiting for you on every page.
Enjoy the
celebration!
NOTES:
(1) Swift, Earl,
“We Celebrate Dr. Seuss” PARADE Magazine, February 15, 2004, p. 4.
(2) Ibid., p. 5.
(3) Ibid., p. 4.
(4) Ibid., p. 5.
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Preparing
for the Holidays
Quote
of the Day: "At Christmas play and make good cheer, For Christmas comes but once a year." Thomas Tusser
OK.
Thanksgiving was wonderful, visiting with family and sharing
fun stories and adventures; laughing around the dining room
table,
enjoying favorite stuffing and pies; watching parades and
football games; and counting your many blessings.
It is
now time to turn our attention to the many preparations for
Christmas. Coming from a Christian perspective, I can speak
for
the anticipation which we all feel to celebrate the birth of the
Christ-child. It brings us wonder each and every
year, and the
time and energy we put into its celebration never wanes. As I
watch my Jewish friends prepare for Hanukkah,
I sense, too, the
joy with which they prepare celebrations with loved ones.
The gift of sacrificial love is the
true essence of Christmas.
Teaching your children to give generously and to give cheerfully
models the life of Christ.
Our God, who created each one of us
with more love than we can imagine, desires this same outpouring
of love to others,
and it is at Christmas that we likewise share
our love through gift-giving and through acts of generosity and
hospitality.
We are buoyed by the "Christmas spirit" because it
is through giving--rather than receiving--that we receive the
most
joy. Pausing to think about others, about their needs and
desires, and extending yourselves to their benefit, brings deep
inner
satisfaction not found any other way.
Have you made your list of those people with whom you want to
share the Christmas
spirit?
Consider giving small, inexpensive gifts to a large list, rather
than more extravagant gifts to a very few
loved ones. When I
think of the model of giving I want to pattern for my own family,
I cannot exclude from the list
those folks who cross my path on a
daily basis--in one way or another--who may or may not have yet
reached into close
friendship with me. And so I am always
thoughtful for small yet kind ways in which I might extend
generosity.
Extend
your circle of concern. Think not only of what members of
your own family would appreciate at Christmas. Think of cousins
and
aunts and uncles, and of closest friends. And don't stop
there. Extend your circle. Think of your mail carrier, pet
groomer,
your pediatrician's office staff, the folks at your gym,
your neighbors, friends of your children, office workers at you
or
your spouse's place of work, your manicurist, the
landscaper....think through the flow of your typical week and
those
people who enter your life on a regular basis. If they are
serving you in some capacity, isn't it kind to remember them
now?
Many people refrain from practicing generosity to those outside
their small circle of concern because of the
lack of money with
which to do so. But inexpensive gifts can be handmade for pennies
if we will only stretch our imaginations
and put our hands--and
those of our children--to good use.
Look to nature and to materials right outside your front
door,
free for the asking and the picking: a fresh bouguet of greens--
evergreens, magnolia leaves, and berries, tied
with a gorgeous
silk ribbon--would be cherished by any receiver.
Tiny bird nest ornaments fashioned from spanish
moss, filled with
speckled beans and a silk butterfly, and with a wooden clothespin
glued from underneath, make delightful
gifts for children and
adults alike. (My own tree is filled with them.)
Collect pinecones and make an arrangement
with them. Your
thoughtfulness will be appreciated and it will have cost nothing
more than a walk in the woods.
Homemade
candies or cookies wrapped in inexpensive cellophane
bags look elegant tied with ribbon and make perfect gifts for
virtually
anyone on your list.
Miniature baskets filled with one tiny, simple gift, are perfect
for your children's friends.
Homemade
"snowglobes" make our list every single year: simply
use a baby food or other small jar and fill it with water and a
small
bit of glycerine (found at your local drug store) and
white glitter; add a few plastic toys--Legos, Barbie doll
shoes,
jacks and balls, plastic bugs--and then squeeze a think
line of silicone sealant around the lid before screwing it on
to
prevent leakage.
Homemade glycerine soaps filled with tiny plastic toys are
adorable, and will delight your children
as they spend a few
hours making them for all of their friends.
Consider making homemade wrapping paper or handmade
gift tags. I
buy inexpensive tags at office supply stores by the hundreds.
They cost about a penny apiece. I also use
twine instead of
expensive ribbon. One bolt lasts several years and costs a couple
of dollars.
And mail those
out-of-state gifts early to avoid long lines at
the post office as well as the extra expense of priority mail.
Model
a generous life...at Christmas and throughout the year.
Give faithfully and give cheerfully. You will be blessed
beyond
measure.
Celebrating the Holidays Amidst Winter's Glories
Quote of the Day: "They eat, they
drink, and in communion sweet Quaff immortality and joy." John Milton
From where I sit, three foot snow drifts stare at me from my back
patio. Melting snow drips
from the rooftop, and trees bare of any
sign of yellow, red or gold engulf my home with a surprising
stillness. The
blizzard has ended. Recovery begins.
The storm that blasted the northeast proved too much fun for my
husand and
four kids as they hiked down our driveway, shoveled
under starlight, and enjoyed snow cream by the fire. I missed it
all, being in Lexington, Kentucky over the weekend for a book
signing for ROCKET MOM!
But
I was thrilled to learn that they once again frolicked in
winter's downpour, and threw care to the wind throughout the
long
weekend which found them stranded at home.
Re-create simple winter childhood memories for your own kids:
Build
snowmen of course--and don't forget to inject your own shot
of creativity into their design. Have a good old-fashioned
snowball
fight--as did all the neighbors at the bus stop this
morning. Make snow angels or just lie on your back and gaze at
the
stars. Enjoy snow cream: Dump ice into a large pot, add
evaporated milk, a tiny bit of sugar and a touch of vanilla for
a
delicious--and rare-- winter treat.
Need a great cocoa recipe? Here's my favorite: Mix together 4
cups powdered
nonfat dry milk, 1/2 cup cocoa, 1/2 teaspoon salt,
1 cup sugar, and 1 cup nondairy creamer. Use 1/4 to 1/3 cup for
each
cup of hot water. Stored in an airtight container, it can be
kept for several months. Makes a fabulous Christmas gift!
Don't
forget whipped cream and fresh marshmallows.
Want a super-easy cookie to go along with that cocoa? My long-
time
favorite: Ritz-cracker-peanut-butter-sandwiches dipped in
melted dark chocolate. Semi-sweet chocolate chips melted in an
oven-proof
bowl in the microwave or in a double boiler work
great, too. I use two forks to both dunk the sandwich and to
retrieve
it. Lay them out on waxed paper to dry, shaking a few
festive red and green sprinkles on top while the chocolate is
still
warm. The best...
Quick wrap idea? Put those cookies in a cellophane bag tied with
a holiday bow. Use mailing tubes
from the post office or UPS
store, slap on a mailing label and you're set.
Made your gingerbread houses yet? Don't
despair. Use my shortcut:
Glue graham crackers--using white icing--to the sides of a small
box. Decorate with candies
and let your imagination go wild.
Create a whole village of them. They make an adorable centerpiece
for your dining
room or kitchen table. Use the round cardboard
from your local pizza store as your base, cover with gobs of
white icing,
and add extras such as plastic mini-trees, figure
skaters, reindeer, dogs and cats...go crazy.
Set out bowls of
candy canes and peppermint sticks. Make gumdrop
topiaries. Create a home that sings during the holidays.
Eliminate
Common Time Busters
Quote
of the Day: "Life offers two great gifts: time and the
ability to choose how we spend it. Planning is
a process of
choosing among those many options. If we do not choose to plan, then we choose to have others plan for us."
Richard I. Winwood
Performing redundant tasks, putting your time into ridiculous
activities, and wasting minutes
here and there all add up to
significant amounts of unproductive time over your lifetime.
Consider statistics, recently
reported by time-management
experts, that the average American wastes over his or her
lifetime:
eight months
opening junk mail
seventeen months drinking coffee and soft drinks
two years on the telephone
five years waiting
in line
nine months sitting in traffic
four years cooking and eating
a year and a half grooming
a year and a half
dressing
seven years in bathrooms
twelve years watching TV
three years shopping
one to two years looking for misplaced
objects
24 years sleeping
(1) Aslett, Don. (1996) How To Have a 48-Hour Day. Pocatello: Marsh Creek Press, p. 39.
We
could come up with some pretty fun statistics on how much time
mothers waste doing redundant tasks:
picking up stray
toys
wiping kitchen countertops
scouring the sink
washing the dishes
doing the laundry
folding clothing
putting
the laundry away
cleaning bathrooms
mopping the floor
collecting the garbage
changing diapers
changing crib
sheets
wiping runny noses and dirty bottoms
getting little ones out of car seats
blah blah blah...does the list ever
end?
In order to eliminate common areas of wasted time, you need to be
constantly on the lookout for ways in which
you might use time
more effectively.
A few tips:
Stop watching TV...or severely restrict your tube time.
Allow
yourself to watch the evening news for one hour after the kids
are in bed. Eliminate morning "fluff" TV and afternoon
talk
shows. They are minor on content and major on commercials and
pure nonsense. Unless you're sick in bed or need
to spend the day
on the sofa, give them up.
Keep a lot of irons in the fire. Remember the old saying: "If you
need
something done, ask a busy person to do it." The busy person
is always ready because she has momentum. Doers always have
multiple
irons in the fire, so new projects are always ready to
be tackled when boredom or fatigue sets in with her current
project.
Don Aslett calls it "ship jumping." When enthusiasm wanes, a project gets boring, or we need to put a temporary freeze on
a
project for one reason or another, we jump ship, leave it, and
move on to something else. Working this way, you become
fast,
efficient, motivated, and highly productive.
(2) Ibid., p. 114.
Lastly, think ahead. Moms who "stand ready" always thing ahead to
the next probable scenario. Red traffic
lights are not stops;
they are pauses for reflection about the next intended thing.
Carpool lines are not monotonous
waiting lines; they are times to
write or read or do one's make-up or nails or plot out the next
intended thing. Ditto
for doctor's office waits, grocery line
queues, and gas station fill-ups. Rocket Moms use these as
intentional "mental
moments"--always taking in opportunities for
action, planning the next intended event, organizing the rest of
the day,
or reviewing activities lined up for the kids.
Critically examine the ways in which you spend your time. See if
you
might find yourself surprised to find extra hours in your
day...to take a bubble bath, write a letter, paint a picture,
or
read a great book.
Creative Thinking in the Midst of the Mundane
Quote of the Day: "For a parent, it's hard to recognize the significance
of your work when you're immersed in the mundane details. Few of us, as we run the bath water or spread the peanut butter
on the bread, proclaim proudly, "I'm making my contribution to the future of the planet." But with the exception of global
hunger, few jobs in the world of paychecks and promotions compare in significance to the job of parent." Joyce Maynard
We cannot escape them. The mundane realities of motherhood
present themselves
at every turn.
Upon rising, it's blast off! We're faced with cooking and serving
breakfast, washing resultant dirty
dishes, wiping countertops,
sweeping floors, packing lunchboxes, checking and signing school
papers, and initialing
bus passes or driving carpool.
Barely over, laundry stains rear their ugly heads and our next
campaign of the hour
screams for our attention. Once attacked,
three loads of laundry morph before our eyes to four, stray socks
and underwear
mysteriously jump to the stairs instead of the
hamper.and more washing, more drying, and more folding goes on ad
infinitum.
Grueling
grocery-store queues, bewildering bills, and time-
consuming phone tag continue to fill our mornings.
And all before
9 AM!
Get used to it. The mundane-oftentimes dreadful-realities of
motherhood have been with moms since time began,
and likely will
stay with us for, well, the rest of our lives. There's no sense
despairing, no need to wring your hands,
no time for wishing
them away.
But take heart. There are tricks to conquering the mundane to
keep you from going
completely insane.
First of all, use your time when doing mundane, everyday chores
to think creatively. Mindless,
repetitious motions like ironing,
soaping down dirty dishes, folding t-shirts.things we could do
with our eyes closed
in the middle of a tornado, present perfect
opportunities for us to think of creative solutions to present
day dilemmas.
My hunch is that not many of you take the time out
during the day to just sit in a chair and think; indeed, the idea--
credited
by Nobel Prize-winning physicist Luis Alvarez, who took
a half-hour every day to ponder what he knew and what its
implications
might be--is highly impractical for ROCKET MOMS!
Nevertheless, the idea is pure gold. How can you translate it
into
your everyday reality? Use that time, when you are
performing repetitious tasks, to ponder dilemmas, think through
frustrations,
sort out ill-feelings, and organize your day.
Secondly, use an "Open Road Strategy" to think creatively. Drive
times
with sleeping children-buckled securely in car seats and
nodding off happily to Raffi tunes and Mozart for the Mind-are
great
opportunities to think without distractions. This practice
is endorsed by John Rogers of the University of Illinois, who is
developing microfluidic optical fibers, and needs this time to
think
creatively. Don Arnone, a leader in t-ray technology, also
employs this strategy, calling it "an inadvertent bonus of the
realities
of modern life."
Lastly, use times doing repetitious exercise as your "Physically
Energizing Strategy" to think
creatively. As an avid lap swimmer,
I often get my most creative insights while swimming monotonous
after monotonous
lap. I almost never think about the physical
part of the swim, such as the way I move my arms or the way I
breathe;
I've been swimming so long that the mechanics are second-
nature. Rather, I purpose to use this time to sort out problems,
figure
out solutions to perplexing issues, and mentally test out
different angles to dilemmas. I always emerge feeling both
mentally
and physically refreshed, and that I have moved forward
creatively.
Climbing the Learning Curve
Quote of the Day: "If one is master of one thing and understands one thing
well, one has at the same time insight into and understanding of many things." Vincent van Gogh
I don't know about you, but I tend to be a rather impatient
person.
I want things when I want them, how I want them. And I
expect other people to do things I ask them to do for me when I
ask
them, how I ask them.
It took me awhile to realize that the world doesn't work that
way! Kids get out-of-line.
Projects get off-schedule. Noses get
bent out-of-shape.
Early on in motherhood, I had an overwhelming desire
to get
things right.and quickly at that. To figure babyhood
out...quickly. Get through the mysteries of toddlerhood.very
quickly!
Get through each new stage with an easy grasp. I
wanted to figure things out quickly and brilliantly and achieve
nearly
"instant mastery," even though I hadn't yet put in my
time. I never had any idea of the overwhelming nature of
motherhood,
nor did I allow myself the luxury of adopting the
appropriate insight into just how complex it all was. I never
counted
on climbing a learning curve that went up like a
rocket.that is, nearly straight up for nearly two decades
before it
leveled out a little!
Everyone remains dazzled by the "overnight success" story, the
boy-wonder, or the golden
child who apparently never stumbled
along the way. Consider 21 year-old Andy Roddick, America's
darling and top-seeded tennis player going into the 2004
Australian Open. His rise to the top appears
to be "overnight."
Contrast him to 22 year-old Taylor Dent, whose progress on the
pro tour has been methodical rather
than meteoric. He finished
2003 ranked No. 32 after capturing three titles. Even for a
player pegged for greatness since
his teens-his father, Phil, an
Australian, was a finalist there in 1974, and his mother, Betty
Ann (Grubb) Stuart, was
a top-10 player in the USA-it hasn't
always come easy. Said Dent: "I'd be full of it if I said that I
wish I hadn't
had the early success that Andy did. That's what I
want more than anything. But I'm happy for Andy. For me, I really
needed
this learning curve to understand my game."
(1) Robson, Douglas. "Serve-and-volleyer Dent fitter, playing smarter." USA Today, 2004 January
21; p. 2, http://www.usatoday.com.
Exactly.
And what happened is that his net-game improved. Serve-and-volleyers-Dent's claim to fame-typically mature later. But this
Newport Beach, California resident elevated his game by raising
his
fitness level during the last year-including cutting back
on
junk food-and focusing on what he does best: attack.
(2) Ibid.
U.S. Davis
Cup captain Patrick McEnroe said of Dent: "He's playing
smarter.which makes his attacking game more
effective.he's
playing more judiciously."
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