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Archived Newsletters can currently be found on this page but will soon
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Taking My Breath Away
Quote of the Day: "Life is not measured by the number
of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away."
I
was fortunate enough to fly to Atlanta over the weekend with my daughter, Cristina, who is eleven, to attend the wedding of
our former choir director form Miami. (The very one who took our choir to perform in Carnegie Hall.) We were both so excited
we coudl hardly sleep the night before. The thought of seeing all of our old Miami friends--as well as dear family from
Kentucky who had relocated to Atlanta---was almost more than we could bear.
Saturday night I walked into the church as the harp, violin,
and flute had just begun to play. The candles were lit, and the church was slowly filling up. I was surprised as an
usher grabbed me from behind; he was none other than the gentleman from New York who had arranged our Carnegie Hall trip. He escorted me right down to the
second row, where all of my Miami friends were already seated. As the church was not yet filled-although
it was certainly quiet enough-we made quite a scene as
they jumped up and engulfed me with generous hugs and kisses. And then Kathy, one of my travel buddies to New York, said "Oh dear! I've just gotten lipstick all over your gorgeous
suit!" And sure enough, on the sleeve of my granny-smith-apple-green (the color for which my obsession for it should
probably have me medicated) suit was a pale pink lipstick smudge. It was an Escada suit, bought at a consignment shop
(see Strategy 7 of ROCKET MOM! 7 Strategies To Blast You Into Brilliance) and, even at consignment prices, was not
inexpensive.
She felt horrible about it. But what could I do?
No matter. I got to thinking-as I sat quietly
in my pew listening to the strains of the harp-about the number of people who would gladly trade a lipstick smudge on
an expensive suit for any one of those slobbery hugs I so enjoyed. I thought of folks sitting in other pews who might
have recently lost their lover, their husband or wife, their child, their best friend, or their betrothed. How fabulous
would a hug from them have felt that night?
How many times do we-as mothers-forego a hug from our little ones because
strawberry jam is sticking to their fingers, or food remains on their tiny wet lips? Are we worried that we'll get our new
t-shirt dirty, that we'll ruin the make-up we so carefully just applied to our freshly scrubbed face, or that the interruption
of the hug will make us late to an appointment?
Perhaps I have gained perspective over the years. Call it rarely getting
a hug from my sixteen-year-old son, or even from Cristina, for that matter. Call it worrying about my sixteen-year- old
when he has almost exceeded curfew, and rejoicing when I hear the garage door screech up on its chain. Call it realizing
with unhappy certainty that my eight-year-old's goodnight squeezes will in the not-too-distant-future be a thing of
the past.
So forget clothing. Forget your perfect make-up. You can always deal with dirt. That is, afterall, why
drycleaning was invented. Steal those hugs and kisses like there's no tomorrow. And see how many moments you can add
to life by the number of breaths it takes away.
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Celebration
is Essential to Humanity
Quote
of the Day: "How good is man's life, the mere living! how fit to employ All the heart and the soul and the
senses forever in joy!" Robert Browning Part of the human experience is to celebrate life with other people
whom you love, to reminisce of past shared events, and to anticipate exciting times ahead.
Throughout the ages people
have had cause to celebrate life. The sun's rising at each new day has been reason enough throughout the history of
the world. Maybe you use the morning sun as your singular wake-up call to begin yet another cause to celebrate life.
The ancient Greeks held festivals to honor their pagan gods. They painted scenes of these celebrations on vases and on the
walls of their temples. The Psalmists wrote praises to the Creator God, and harpists and trumpets played triumphantly,
while others sang joyous choruses.
Americans and Canadians are in preparation to offer thanks with large feasts
and family gatherings on Thursday, Thanksgiving Day. Grocery shopping, trips to the store for fresh candles, and endless
hours of cooking and baking all contribute to the celebration.
But let's never lose sight of the real cause for
celebration, and for honoring the tradition which we have come to cherish. The Pilgrims shared feasts to thank our gracious
God for all of the provisions He made for them during that gruesome year after settlement here in our country. During
that year, when roughly half of them died from the frigid winter and from lack of food, those remaining knew they had
cause for celebration. And they knew that the source for celebration was their God of grace and love.
Let us
be ever-mindful this week to give due pause for all of the blessings for which we are thankful. Loving family relationships-- with
both those in your immediate family as well as those in your extended family--numerous friends, generous and helpful neighbors,
members of your church family, and men and women in the armed forces who are bravely protecting our freedoms, all deserve
outward expressions of gratitude. Good health, fine clothing, a warm home, and even comfortable shoes...all offer reasons
enough to be thankful.
As you gather around your table on Thursday, take time with those you love to openly express
those things for which you are most thankful. Use this opportunity to build happy memories with your family. And use
this opportunity to thank our generous and gracious God.
The gift of a rich childhood, complete with happy memories
of shared celebrations, of generations-old traditions, and of solid, loving relationships with people with whom you
can greet each new day with expectant optimism, all combine to build a heritage of celebration. Consider traditions
that you want to instill into your children's lives. Is it a family recipe for stuffing? Or of a decadent pecan pie?
Do you bring out collectible pilgrim figurines? Do you collect candles that exude fall aromas? Do you prepare Thanksgiving
dinner to a traditional musical masterpiece? These will all build memeories into your children, who will no doubt impart
these same touches to their holiday celebrations with their own children.
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Music is Essential
to Life Itself
Quote of the Day:
"I have always felt that children should be brought into contact with fine music as
early as possible because taste is molded when we are young." Fritz Kreisler
Do
your kids have a song in their heart? Do they float through the day singing?
All children love music and all children
love to sing. In fact, anthropologists believe that music has existed since early man, and that since then, there has
never been a culture without it. Anne Blood, a researcher who conducted studies at McGill University in Montreal, found
that the "neural mechanisms of music may have originally developed as a way of communicating emotion as a precursor
to speech, offering insights into how the mind integrates sensory information with emotion and meaning."
All children
are different, and some certainly have more of an artistic bent than others, but the love of music is inherent to all
children.
In a massive research project generated at the University of California
at Berkeley,
spearheaded by Dr. Marian Diamond, professor of anatomy, it has been proven that the cortex of our brain represents
85 percent of brain mass and handles our intellectual functions, while the limbic system, weighing in at 15 percent,
handles our emotional functions. One of the surprising results of the study is that it is this under- represented limbic
system that may quite possibly hold the key to our very survival. Research shows that the emotional area of our brain
is as necessary for survival as is the intellectual side, if not more so. It has also been shown that music and the arts utilize
both the cortex and the limbic systems and that both are essential ingredients for learning patterns that last, and essential
indeed for our very survival!
Sharlene Habermeyer concludes in her outstanding treatise Good Music Brighter Children:
"You simply cannot study music and the arts without feeling joy, happiness, love, tenderness, sorrow, humor, and so
on, and when we allow these emotions to be a part of the learning process, our education becomes richer, more meaningful,
longer lasting, and has greater impact on our lives." Or as Dr. Diamond reprimands: "One without the other is only half an
experience."
Mark Jude Tramo, a neurobiologist with the Harvard Medical School, writes:
"music is biologically part of human life, just as music is aesthetically part of human life."
In short, the human need to create and appreciate music is basic to
life itself.
This was obvious to me yesterday as I observed hundreds of children at our town's Family Concert, led
by our symphony orchestra and special guest performer, Dan Kamin, a critically acclaimed musical mime. Children and
adults alike squealed with absolute delight as he pantomimed silly antics while the orchestra performed selections ranging
from Kabalevsky to Strauss.
How are you instilling
a musical heritage into your children? Consider treating them to a Holiday concert by the local symphony, to the Nutcracker ballet at Christmas,
to caroling around your town, to participating in Holiday music at your place of worship, or to investing in a few new excellent quality CD's of
classical masterpieces.
Watch for many more
detailed musical selections in the next few newsletters as we prepare for the
Holiday season before us! And start thinking today of
ways in which you can incorporate music into the fabric of your day.
Goal-Setting
and Vision-Casting
Quote
of the Day: "You don't get points for predicting rain. You get points for building an ark." Louis Gerstner,
former Chairman and CEO of IBM It's that time of year again: time to reflect back on the past
year and evaluate relationships; examine areas where you spent your valuable time, money, and energy; ponder goals set last
year and revise new ones accordingly; and count your many blessings.
As I spend time these next few days looking over
notes from years past, I will make every effort to draft goals for 2004 that help me move further down the path of the
kind of person I hope to become. My goal every year is to become more saint-like, and many areas in my life need to
be addressed in order to help me evolve -- step by step -- to that end.
I will not suppose that what works for me
will work for you. I will only share what I do in the hope that it might help you as you prepare for the coming new
year.
I rely on my Filofax, where I write all of my goals down in colored ink on colored paper. Over the years I
have called my goals various things, but as of last year they became known as the "6 F's." Here goes...
1) FAITH
How
can I get myself further down the spiritual path and become more saintlike? Specific steps I might record to get me closer
to my goal would include: disciplined and consistent reading of scripture, journaling, reading books on spirituality,
plugging into a charitable organization whose vision fits that of my family's, taking a mission trip, maintaining a
"bloom where planted" attitude about life, etc.
2) FAMILY
How can our family -- including my husband, our
four kids, myself, and the dog -- become the strongest and happiest group of people as we share life together? And what
things do I need to be pro-actively instilling into our family's structure to ensure happy childhoods for each of our
four kids? What is my vision for each child? What gifts and talents does this child have and what do we need to do to
help him develop them for other people's benefit? Specific steps might include: planning a family summer vacation, replacing
TV with a family reading night, investments in music lessons, commitment to sports teams, scheduling weekly date nights,
etc.
3) FRIENDS
How can I maintain the many friendships that I have formed over the years given the great
physical distances that separate us, and how can I form new friendships with people who cross my path? Specific steps
would include scheduled trips to visit girlfriends, frequent long-distance phone calls, celebrating birthdays with gifts
and cards, continuing Christmas gift-giving traditions, etc.
4) FINANCIAL
How do we become more financially
independent? How do we reduce debt and increase wealth? Steps would include my making a list of a realistic number of
books to sell, seminars to schedule, articles to write, investments to make, savings goals to meet, tithing commitments
to keep, etc.
5) FITNESS
How can I maintain a health and fitness regimen that keeps me in optimal physical
and emotional health -- while maintaining kids who are too young to maintain themselves? Specific steps would include
scheduling a realistic number of trips to the gym per week, weekly commitments to swimming and tennis, and to weight training,
etc.
6) FUN
What things would I enjoy doing personally and with my family that would help me enjoy life to
its fullest? I would include specific trips and dates with Ernie, plans for vacations with the kids, Broadway shows,
season tickets to the philharmonic, oil painting classes, etc.
Studies show that people who record their goals IN
WRITING have a much greater chance of accomplishing them. Spend quality time thinking about specific goals that you'd
like to make in your life. Begin the process now. Let your sub-conscious absorb the goals and let it help you figure
out ways in which to make these goals realistically attainable. Consider your life stage. A trip to the gym might be
quite realistic for me but a pipe dream for you if you have a newborn or a couple of toddlers underfoot. Don't fret
that your goals seem out of whack or not grand enough. Go easy on yourself and resolve to come up with goals that fit
where you are and where you'd like to be by the end of the year. And remember to have fun with the process. Enjoy a glass
of red wine and sit by the fire while you doodle your thoughts. Dream. Imagine.
ONE FINAL THOUGHT: Remember to count
your blessings of this past year. Make a list. We are each coming to the dinner table New Year's Eve night with our
individual Top Ten Lists. Consider making this a New Year's Eve tradition in your family, too. Nothing makes one feel
better about the world than counting all the ways in which you have been uniquely blessed.
Rocket
Mom's Top Ten List
Quote
of the Day: "It is impossible to live a pleasant
life without living wisely and well and justly, and it is impossible to live wisely and well and justly without living pleasantly."
Epicurus (third century B.C.) Several
of you readers have emailed me requesting clarification of both my method of writing down my goals, as well as more detailed
information on our "Top Ten List."
More about goals later....
The "Top Ten List" was my husband's idea and I
give him all the credit. He simply announced in the last week of the year that by January 1 he wanted all of us to come
up with our individual Top Ten lists for 2003, and to be prepared to share them with the family. They could be the Top
Ten things that brought us the most joy; the Top Ten most fun things of the year; the Top Ten most significant things....there
was certainly room for interpretation. Each list was to be drafted privately, without the help of another sibling to
refresh one's memory, or to feed one ideas.
We had forgotten that our
oldest son would be traveling back to New York from Miami all day New Year's Day and would arrive home late that
night, exhausted and in less than perfect humor. Small detail, and bingo on that one...
Nonetheless, we all wound
up writing our lists in due time and read them yesterday over lunch at the local diner we frequent most Sundays immediately
following church. Sitting at our usual table--tucked off in the corner--our boisterous family chattered about all kinds
of stuff. We ate and then Ernie pulled out the lists. He passed them out and, going in reverse birth order, each child,
followed by me and then ending with Ernie, read our Top Ten's.
I was caught totally off-guard. Given our family's
move this summer from Miami to Connecticut, we had done some pretty spectacular things right before leaving Florida:
visiting the Keys, going to Sea Bird Key, a wonderful private island as guests of the owners (www.seabirdkey.com), snorkeling and scuba-diving, going out on the boat, spending
time on South Beach. Of course all of these memories made our individual Top Ten's.
But I was totally disarmed by
a couple other things that made it. Victor included throwing baseball with his dad as one of his Top Ten. Ben included
tossing football with dad. Cristina included paying in the snow during our first nor'easter.
Simple pleasures. Things
that didn't cost a dime. Old- fashioned fun. Playing. Spending time with dad. Or mom. Hanging out with friends.
I
encourage you to do the "Top Ten" with your family. It's not too late. Just do it sometime this week. We're all getting
back into the groove anyway. But I also highly encourage you, when thinking about your goals for your family for 2004,
to be intentional about creating happy childhood memories that will make it to your child's Top Ten at the start of
2005. Be pro- active in planning family fun. Be strategic about family activities. And leave plenty of room--of course!--for spontaneity.
Build in that critical "down time." Taking walks, throwing football, baking brownies...it is these simple pleasures that
are, afterall, the best stuff of life.
Keeping the Spirit
Quote of the Day: "Each age has deemed the new-born year, The fittest
time for festal cheer." Sir Walter Scott On Friday night,
I learned my limitation. I took ten pre-teen girls to the ice rink--along with little brother Victor, who had never
ice skated in his life.
At fortysomething, I had no deep-seated desire to
skate; the girls afterall would skate by themselves and completely ignore me. I was cold. I was sore from my early-morning
tennis game and half-hour workout with weights. In tiny Ridgefield, Connecticut in January, ice skating on a Friday night is as good as it gets: the place was packed.
Clearly two hundred children and hormone- impaired middleschoolers were lacing up, while little Victor begged me to
skate alongside him, at this never-before-seen rink, with an almost-desperate look on his face.
Of course I had
to oblige. "How tough could this be anyway?" I thought as I snapped on my rented skates. "I work out everyday," I reassured
myself. I skated as a kid. We'll take it slowly. I look the part, what with my jeans, turtleneck, and down vest. I mean...I
could pass for one of these kids if you caught me at the right angle!
We got onto the ice, Victor holding my hand
with a look of "Can I do this, Mom?" and me with an "it's-like-riding-a-bike-you-never-forget-how" assurance.
The
first time around was, well, awkward would be an understatement. I was wobbly. Victor held me up. When I asked him how
he was doing, he was clearly in control. "I rollerblade, remember, Mom?" Oh yeah...that.
Dozens of wiry boys...barely
as high as my kneecap...who had clearly been skating since they could crawl...zigzagged in and out of my path like cockroaches
when caught in the dark by a quickly-turned-on light. Whippersnappers! In and out they skated, so fast and with such precision
that it took my misted-breath away.
Did I mention the strobe lights? Just when I thought it was safe to look down
and see where I was going, the lights playing on the ice only made me dizzy. I was reassured by my assessment when Victor
exclaimed: "Mom, don't look down! You'll throw up!"
By the third or fourth time around, I was feeling much more confident.
But when a pre-teen girl caught sight of a hottie and abruptly skated backwards...directly in front of me...I was knocked
smack on the ice. I landed on my wrists, and fully realized how hard the ice really is...and how much more brittle my
bones are at my age...when I picked myself up with a half- laugh and an under-my-breath grunt of "I hope he was worth it."
We
were great, Victor and I. He took to the ice like a duck to water and passed me whenever he could, checking in with me
every few dozen yards to make sure I was still alive. The second crash was my swan song; I exited to the slightly warmer
viewing room with ice on my butt and two clearly bruised wrists, totally ticked off that these kids had gotten the best
of me.
Five minutes later, I reminded myself why I was there in the first place: I had a 9-year-old son who needed
me, for crying out loud! It was back to the ice for another half-hour. Round and round we went, avoiding the whippersnappers
and pre-teen girls with a vengeance. My daughter and her nine friends? Forgetaboutem. Caught in their own little world-on-ice,
checking out each face that whirled past them, I was only the night-time driver and MasterCard-holder.
The evening
ended with hot cocoa drunk by giggling, rosy-cheeked girls. Victor, encouraged by my proddings of "You're doing so great!"
now had his sights set on ice hockey. And my left wrist, though clearly black and blue from a dozen broken blood vessels, was
not much worse for the wear.
Will we do that again? Absolutely. Cold air, oxygen to the brain, rosy cheeks, laughter,
friends, bonding with my kids, and a sense of community in this New England town of mine are just too compelling.
Looking like a fool when I fall? Black-and-blue reminders
of my middle age? Bruises to my ego? Well...that's all part of motherhood.
Keeping the spirit of the holidays
after the holidays have clearly passed is one of the challenges of being a Rocket Mom. Keep your eyes wide open for
opportunities throughout the next couple winter months to create special memories with your kids. Be it snow-skiing,
ice skating, or sledding; or creating unique pottery at your local paint bar...be prepared for giggles and memory- making...and
check your ego at the door.
Valentine's Day for Lovers and Those You Love
"Little Things"
The little things are most
worthwhile A loving word, A look, a smile Though sometimes they may seem quite small These little things mean
most of all. To thank you for the little things That you so often do And to tell you that it is so wonderful To
have your love and you. by Kim Jones
I
want to share with you the short version of the origin of Valentine's Day, both to give you perspective as well as to help you
figure out festive-yet appropriate-ways in which you might celebrate the day.
The first interpretation originated
as a pagan tradition in the third century. During this time hordes of hungry wolves roamed outside of
Rome,
where shepherds kept their flocks. The God Lupercus was said
to watch over the shepherds and their flocks to keep them from the wolves. Every February the Romans celebrated with
"The Feast of Lupercus" to honor him. At the same time, the Romans honored the goddess Juno Februata, and celebrated by placing
the names of young women into a box from which they were drawn
by lot. Boys and girls who matched would be considered partners for the year. This celebration continued long after wolves
were a problem to Rome.
As Christianity became prevalent, priests attempted to replace these
heathen practices, so they renamed The Feast of Lubercus to St. Valentine's Day. To give the celebration further meaning, priests
substituted the drawing of Saints names for the names of the girls, and on St. Valentine's Day the youth was supposed to emulate
the life of the saint whose name he or she had drawn. Over the next two centuries or so, tradition would revert back and
forth between using girls' names and saintly names, with alternating success and failure.
While it can't be proven
historically, there were seven men named Valentine who were honored with feasts on February 14th. Of these men, two stories link incidents that could have given our present day
meaning to St. Valentine's Day. One of these men named Valentine was a priest during the reign of Emperor Claudius. Valentine
was revered by the young and old, rich and poor, with people from all walks of life attending his religious services. At
this time, Emperor Claudius was heavily recruiting men to serve as soldiers for his wars, but without much success, as
the men dreaded leaving their wives, families, and sweethearts behind to fight in foreign lands. Claudius became angry
and declared that no more marriages could be performed, and all formal engagements were cancelled. Valentine thought
this to be unfair, so he secretly married several couples. When Claudius found out, he threw Valentine in prison where
he later died.
Another version had St. Valentine jailed for helping Christians. While Valentine was in prison he
cured a jailer's daughter of blindness. Claudius became enraged and had Valentine clubbed and beheaded on February 14, 269 A.D.
Yet another story claims
that Valentine fell in love with the jailer's daughter and wrote her letters that were signed "From your Valentine."
All
of the seven Valentines eventually evolved into one, and in 496 A.D., Pope Gelasius declared the day in honor of St. Valentine.
Through the centuries the Christian holiday became a time to exchange love messages and St. Valentine became the patron
saint of lovers.
OK. So Now What?
How do we leap from Lupercus to St. Valentine to celebrating the tradition
some fifteen hundred years later? And should we even bother?!
Absolutely. The beauty of the holiday is that it presents wonderful
opportunities to send love messages to all those people who bless your life.
Traditional Valentine's messages were
simply that: messages. Chocolate, flowers, expensive dinners out, and extravagant gifts have evolved over time from
honest, humble, well-intentioned lovers to those sneaky giants in the hospitality and confectionary industries more
interested in making a strong bottom line.
That said, my recommendations:
. Coffee in bed. My very favorite
love act. (Well.one of them.)
. Handmade love messages-from silly to sincere-to family and friends. Hearts and red
ink are mandatory. Use those rubber stamps and cut-outs you've been collecting. And check out the wonderful new Valentine's
stamps at the Post Office, too!
. Heart-shaped pancakes, muffins, French toast, waffles, cookies, brownies, rice
krispie treats, lunchbox sandwiches.to anything which a heart-shaped cookie cutter, cast-iron mold, or waffle iron will
do the job: use it!
. Small treats to family and friends. To my little guy's teacher, it means handmade stationery
and cookies wrapped with a pretty bow; to my kids, it means heart-shaped boxes stuffed with a little bit of money; to
my daughter's friends, it means small teddy bears.
. Do something unexpected! Send your Valentine flowers, or a balloon,
or have something delivered. Can you meet somewhere for a secret tryst?
. Scatter love notes throughout the house,
with family member's names written on envelopes. Mark "DO NOT OPEN UNTIL FEBRUARY 14."
. Include lunchbox love notes
all week long. And pack a handful of chocolate kisses in there, too!
. Your hubbie's favorite dinner. That might
mean dinner out-in which case you get off easy!-or it might mean spending the day doing something extra sweet for him.
Don't forget the candles, cloth napkins, silver, and china. If you drink wine, let it be red. Try to plan it so that
the kids are already bedded down.
. A massage, bubble bath, or Jacuzzi soak with your honey. No advice on that one.
.
A wildly romantic Valentine card for your hubby-or a poem you made up yourself. Love poems are a Valentine's Day tradition!
.
Roses remain the Valentine flower of choice. Rose re-spelled spells Eros. Give one or give a dozen. Red.
. Chocolate.
Very dark. And plenty of it.
In the end, being a faithful Valentine means looking out for the needs and affections
of those you love-and the willingness to show it. See what small acts of kindness you can do today-and all week long-to
celebrate the tradition of Valentine's Day, the tradition of Love.
"Valentine
Food For Thought"
Cabbage always has a heart; Green beans string along. You're such a cute
tomato, Will you peas to me belong? You've been the apple of my eye, You know how much I care; So lettuce get together,
We'd make a perfect pear. Now, something's sure to turnip to prove you can't be beet; So, if you carrot all for me let's
let our tulips meet. Don't squash my hopes and dreams now, Bee my honey, dear; Or tears will fill potato's eyes, While
sweet corn lends an ear. I'll cauliflower shop and say, Your dreams are parsley mine. I'll work and share my celery, So be
my valentine. by Jeanne Losey
We
Celebrate Dr. Seuss
Quote
of the Day: “You’re off to Great Places! Today is your day!
Your mountain is waiting. So…get on your way! From Oh, the Places You’ll Go! Dr. Seuss
Tomorrow marks the 100th anniversary of Theodor Seuss Geisel. The best-selling
children’s author in history, known to millions of children—and parents—around the world as Dr. Seuss, would
have been 100 on Tuesday.
His life
will be celebrated everywhere, but most particularly in Springfield, Massachusetts, which honors its most famous native with
an elephant named Horton, a tower of turtles stacked ten high, the Grinch, Sam-I-Am and the Lorax, a pair of Things and a
man-sized, smiling cat in a stovepipe hat—all cast in bronze by his step-daughter Lark Grey Dimond-Cates.
The occasion
will also be celebrated in San Diego, near his home in La Jolla, and where The Theodor Seuss Geisel
Library stands. It is also where a Geisel postage stamp will debut as part of this year-long “Seussentennial.”
The allure
of Dr. Seuss, whose books are proclaimed by icon Maurice Sendak as “works of sheer genius” lies in rhythmic, rhyming,
almost sing-songy cadence. (1) “You almost sang the words, “said Springfield newspaper executive and Seuss friend David
Starr. (2) What with his 44 books selling over 500 million copies—and two of them: How the Grinch Stole Christmas
and The Cat in the Hat spawning blockbuster movies—who amongst us Rocket Moms do not have at least one of
his yarns memorized? As proof positive to his overwhelming influence, Professor Jim Farrelly of the University of Dayton asked 90 students last
fall to name a Seuss book, quote one of its couplets and identify its lesson. Nine in ten were able to do all three. (3)
All of the
Seuss books have a lesson. “They all have the theme,” Starr says. “Goodness triumphs. Bad people are put
down. And you can find it in book after book. There was a naiveté to Seuss, and the naiveté is that you really think that
people are good and that the world can be improved. He was an optimist.” (4)
And he always
fought for “the little guy,” for the disenfranchised amongst us. As proclaimed in Yertle the Turtle: “I
know up on top you are seeing great sights, but down at the bottom we, too, should have rights.” And from Horton
Hears a Who: “Don’t give up! I believe in you all! A person’s a person, no matter how small!”
As I so often
say, we glean the most insights from lessons that have been condensed into the fewest words. And this, the good doctor did
brilliantly.
March 2 is
also Read Across America day, when the National Education Association urges us to participate in reading events, and when
I, personally, will be celebrating Seuss’s genius with green eggs and ham for breakfast and down time on the sofa with
a stack of his books. I encourage you to do the same. Surround yourself—if even for just a day—with the simple
teachings of Theodor Seuss Geisel, and see if you, like millions around the globe, discover anew the joy of his messages and
the sheer genius waiting for you on every page.
Enjoy the
celebration!
NOTES:
(1) Swift, Earl,
“We Celebrate Dr. Seuss” PARADE Magazine, February 15, 2004, p. 4.
(2) Ibid., p. 5.
(3) Ibid., p. 4.
(4) Ibid., p. 5.
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Preparing
for the Holidays
Quote
of the Day: "At Christmas play and make good cheer, For Christmas comes but once a year." Thomas Tusser OK.
Thanksgiving was wonderful, visiting with family and sharing fun stories and adventures; laughing around the dining room table,
enjoying favorite stuffing and pies; watching parades and football games; and counting your many blessings.
It is
now time to turn our attention to the many preparations for Christmas. Coming from a Christian perspective, I can speak
for the anticipation which we all feel to celebrate the birth of the Christ-child. It brings us wonder each and every
year, and the time and energy we put into its celebration never wanes. As I watch my Jewish friends prepare for Hanukkah,
I sense, too, the joy with which they prepare celebrations with loved ones.
The gift of sacrificial love is the
true essence of Christmas.
Teaching your children to give generously and to give cheerfully models the life of Christ.
Our God, who created each one of us with more love than we can imagine, desires this same outpouring of love to others,
and it is at Christmas that we likewise share our love through gift-giving and through acts of generosity and hospitality.
We are buoyed by the "Christmas spirit" because it is through giving--rather than receiving--that we receive the most
joy. Pausing to think about others, about their needs and desires, and extending yourselves to their benefit, brings deep inner
satisfaction not found any other way.
Have you made your list of those people with whom you want to share the Christmas
spirit?
Consider giving small, inexpensive gifts to a large list, rather than more extravagant gifts to a very few
loved ones. When I think of the model of giving I want to pattern for my own family, I cannot exclude from the list
those folks who cross my path on a daily basis--in one way or another--who may or may not have yet reached into close
friendship with me. And so I am always thoughtful for small yet kind ways in which I might extend generosity.
Extend
your circle of concern. Think not only of what members of your own family would appreciate at Christmas. Think of cousins and
aunts and uncles, and of closest friends. And don't stop there. Extend your circle. Think of your mail carrier, pet groomer,
your pediatrician's office staff, the folks at your gym, your neighbors, friends of your children, office workers at you or
your spouse's place of work, your manicurist, the landscaper....think through the flow of your typical week and those
people who enter your life on a regular basis. If they are serving you in some capacity, isn't it kind to remember them
now?
Many people refrain from practicing generosity to those outside their small circle of concern because of the
lack of money with which to do so. But inexpensive gifts can be handmade for pennies if we will only stretch our imaginations
and put our hands--and those of our children--to good use.
Look to nature and to materials right outside your front
door, free for the asking and the picking: a fresh bouguet of greens-- evergreens, magnolia leaves, and berries, tied
with a gorgeous silk ribbon--would be cherished by any receiver.
Tiny bird nest ornaments fashioned from spanish
moss, filled with speckled beans and a silk butterfly, and with a wooden clothespin glued from underneath, make delightful
gifts for children and adults alike. (My own tree is filled with them.)
Collect pinecones and make an arrangement
with them. Your thoughtfulness will be appreciated and it will have cost nothing more than a walk in the woods.
Homemade
candies or cookies wrapped in inexpensive cellophane bags look elegant tied with ribbon and make perfect gifts for virtually
anyone on your list.
Miniature baskets filled with one tiny, simple gift, are perfect for your children's friends.
Homemade
"snowglobes" make our list every single year: simply use a baby food or other small jar and fill it with water and a small
bit of glycerine (found at your local drug store) and white glitter; add a few plastic toys--Legos, Barbie doll shoes,
jacks and balls, plastic bugs--and then squeeze a think line of silicone sealant around the lid before screwing it on to
prevent leakage.
Homemade glycerine soaps filled with tiny plastic toys are adorable, and will delight your children
as they spend a few hours making them for all of their friends.
Consider making homemade wrapping paper or handmade
gift tags. I buy inexpensive tags at office supply stores by the hundreds. They cost about a penny apiece. I also use
twine instead of expensive ribbon. One bolt lasts several years and costs a couple of dollars.
And mail those
out-of-state gifts early to avoid long lines at the post office as well as the extra expense of priority mail.
Model
a generous life...at Christmas and throughout the year. Give faithfully and give cheerfully. You will be blessed beyond
measure.
Celebrating the Holidays Amidst Winter's Glories
Quote of the Day: "They eat, they
drink, and in communion sweet Quaff immortality and joy." John Milton From where I sit, three foot snow drifts stare at me from my back patio. Melting snow drips
from the rooftop, and trees bare of any sign of yellow, red or gold engulf my home with a surprising stillness. The
blizzard has ended. Recovery begins.
The storm that blasted the northeast proved too much fun for my husand and
four kids as they hiked down our driveway, shoveled under starlight, and enjoyed snow cream by the fire. I missed it all, being in Lexington, Kentucky over the weekend for a book signing for ROCKET MOM!
But
I was thrilled to learn that they once again frolicked in winter's downpour, and threw care to the wind throughout the
long weekend which found them stranded at home.
Re-create simple winter childhood memories for your own kids: Build
snowmen of course--and don't forget to inject your own shot of creativity into their design. Have a good old-fashioned snowball
fight--as did all the neighbors at the bus stop this morning. Make snow angels or just lie on your back and gaze at the
stars. Enjoy snow cream: Dump ice into a large pot, add evaporated milk, a tiny bit of sugar and a touch of vanilla for
a delicious--and rare-- winter treat.
Need a great cocoa recipe? Here's my favorite: Mix together 4 cups powdered
nonfat dry milk, 1/2 cup cocoa, 1/2 teaspoon salt, 1 cup sugar, and 1 cup nondairy creamer. Use 1/4 to 1/3 cup for each
cup of hot water. Stored in an airtight container, it can be kept for several months. Makes a fabulous Christmas gift!
Don't forget whipped cream and fresh marshmallows.
Want a super-easy cookie to go along with that cocoa? My long- time
favorite: Ritz-cracker-peanut-butter-sandwiches dipped in melted dark chocolate. Semi-sweet chocolate chips melted in an oven-proof
bowl in the microwave or in a double boiler work great, too. I use two forks to both dunk the sandwich and to retrieve
it. Lay them out on waxed paper to dry, shaking a few festive red and green sprinkles on top while the chocolate is still
warm. The best...
Quick wrap idea? Put those cookies in a cellophane bag tied with a holiday bow. Use mailing tubes
from the post office or UPS store, slap on a mailing label and you're set.
Made your gingerbread houses yet? Don't
despair. Use my shortcut: Glue graham crackers--using white icing--to the sides of a small box. Decorate with candies
and let your imagination go wild. Create a whole village of them. They make an adorable centerpiece for your dining
room or kitchen table. Use the round cardboard from your local pizza store as your base, cover with gobs of white icing,
and add extras such as plastic mini-trees, figure skaters, reindeer, dogs and cats...go crazy.
Set out bowls of
candy canes and peppermint sticks. Make gumdrop topiaries. Create a home that sings during the holidays.
Eliminate
Common Time Busters
Quote
of the Day: "Life offers two great gifts: time and the ability to choose how we spend it. Planning is
a process of choosing among those many options. If we do not choose to plan, then we choose to have others plan for us."
Richard I. Winwood Performing redundant tasks, putting your time into ridiculous activities, and wasting minutes
here and there all add up to significant amounts of unproductive time over your lifetime.
Consider statistics, recently
reported by time-management experts, that the average American wastes over his or her lifetime:
eight months
opening junk mail seventeen months drinking coffee and soft drinks two years on the telephone five years waiting
in line nine months sitting in traffic four years cooking and eating a year and a half grooming a year and a half
dressing seven years in bathrooms twelve years watching TV three years shopping one to two years looking for misplaced
objects 24 years sleeping
(1) Aslett, Don. (1996) How To Have a 48-Hour Day. Pocatello: Marsh Creek Press, p. 39.
We
could come up with some pretty fun statistics on how much time mothers waste doing redundant tasks:
picking up stray
toys wiping kitchen countertops scouring the sink washing the dishes doing the laundry folding clothing putting
the laundry away cleaning bathrooms mopping the floor collecting the garbage changing diapers changing crib
sheets wiping runny noses and dirty bottoms getting little ones out of car seats blah blah blah...does the list ever
end?
In order to eliminate common areas of wasted time, you need to be constantly on the lookout for ways in which
you might use time more effectively.
A few tips:
Stop watching TV...or severely restrict your tube time.
Allow yourself to watch the evening news for one hour after the kids are in bed. Eliminate morning "fluff" TV and afternoon
talk shows. They are minor on content and major on commercials and pure nonsense. Unless you're sick in bed or need
to spend the day on the sofa, give them up.
Keep a lot of irons in the fire. Remember the old saying: "If you need
something done, ask a busy person to do it." The busy person is always ready because she has momentum. Doers always have multiple
irons in the fire, so new projects are always ready to be tackled when boredom or fatigue sets in with her current project.
Don Aslett calls it "ship jumping." When enthusiasm wanes, a project gets boring, or we need to put a temporary freeze on
a project for one reason or another, we jump ship, leave it, and move on to something else. Working this way, you become
fast, efficient, motivated, and highly productive. (2) Ibid., p. 114.
Lastly, think ahead. Moms who "stand ready" always thing ahead to the next probable scenario. Red traffic
lights are not stops; they are pauses for reflection about the next intended thing. Carpool lines are not monotonous
waiting lines; they are times to write or read or do one's make-up or nails or plot out the next intended thing. Ditto
for doctor's office waits, grocery line queues, and gas station fill-ups. Rocket Moms use these as intentional "mental
moments"--always taking in opportunities for action, planning the next intended event, organizing the rest of the day,
or reviewing activities lined up for the kids.
Critically examine the ways in which you spend your time. See if you
might find yourself surprised to find extra hours in your day...to take a bubble bath, write a letter, paint a picture,
or read a great book.
Creative Thinking in the Midst of the Mundane
Quote of the Day: "For a parent, it's hard to recognize the significance
of your work when you're immersed in the mundane details. Few of us, as we run the bath water or spread the peanut butter
on the bread, proclaim proudly, "I'm making my contribution to the future of the planet." But with the exception of global
hunger, few jobs in the world of paychecks and promotions compare in significance to the job of parent." Joyce Maynard We cannot escape them. The mundane realities of motherhood present themselves
at every turn.
Upon rising, it's blast off! We're faced with cooking and serving breakfast, washing resultant dirty
dishes, wiping countertops, sweeping floors, packing lunchboxes, checking and signing school papers, and initialing
bus passes or driving carpool.
Barely over, laundry stains rear their ugly heads and our next campaign of the hour
screams for our attention. Once attacked, three loads of laundry morph before our eyes to four, stray socks and underwear
mysteriously jump to the stairs instead of the hamper.and more washing, more drying, and more folding goes on ad infinitum.
Grueling
grocery-store queues, bewildering bills, and time- consuming phone tag continue to fill our mornings.
And all before
9 AM!
Get used to it. The mundane-oftentimes dreadful-realities of motherhood have been with moms since time began,
and likely will stay with us for, well, the rest of our lives. There's no sense despairing, no need to wring your hands,
no time for wishing them away.
But take heart. There are tricks to conquering the mundane to keep you from going
completely insane.
First of all, use your time when doing mundane, everyday chores to think creatively. Mindless,
repetitious motions like ironing, soaping down dirty dishes, folding t-shirts.things we could do with our eyes closed
in the middle of a tornado, present perfect opportunities for us to think of creative solutions to present day dilemmas.
My hunch is that not many of you take the time out during the day to just sit in a chair and think; indeed, the idea-- credited
by Nobel Prize-winning physicist Luis Alvarez, who took a half-hour every day to ponder what he knew and what its implications
might be--is highly impractical for ROCKET MOMS! Nevertheless, the idea is pure gold. How can you translate it into
your everyday reality? Use that time, when you are performing repetitious tasks, to ponder dilemmas, think through frustrations,
sort out ill-feelings, and organize your day.
Secondly, use an "Open Road Strategy" to think creatively. Drive times
with sleeping children-buckled securely in car seats and nodding off happily to Raffi tunes and Mozart for the Mind-are great
opportunities to think without distractions. This practice is endorsed by John Rogers of the University of Illinois, who is developing microfluidic optical fibers, and needs this time to think
creatively. Don Arnone, a leader in t-ray technology, also employs this strategy, calling it "an inadvertent bonus of the realities
of modern life."
Lastly, use times doing repetitious exercise as your "Physically Energizing Strategy" to think
creatively. As an avid lap swimmer, I often get my most creative insights while swimming monotonous after monotonous
lap. I almost never think about the physical part of the swim, such as the way I move my arms or the way I breathe;
I've been swimming so long that the mechanics are second- nature. Rather, I purpose to use this time to sort out problems, figure
out solutions to perplexing issues, and mentally test out different angles to dilemmas. I always emerge feeling both mentally
and physically refreshed, and that I have moved forward creatively.
Climbing the Learning Curve
Quote of the Day: "If one is master of one thing and understands one thing
well, one has at the same time insight into and understanding of many things." Vincent van Gogh I don't know about you, but I tend to be a rather impatient person.
I want things when I want them, how I want them. And I expect other people to do things I ask them to do for me when I ask
them, how I ask them.
It took me awhile to realize that the world doesn't work that way! Kids get out-of-line.
Projects get off-schedule. Noses get bent out-of-shape.
Early on in motherhood, I had an overwhelming desire
to get things right.and quickly at that. To figure babyhood out...quickly. Get through the mysteries of toddlerhood.very quickly!
Get through each new stage with an easy grasp. I wanted to figure things out quickly and brilliantly and achieve nearly
"instant mastery," even though I hadn't yet put in my time. I never had any idea of the overwhelming nature of motherhood,
nor did I allow myself the luxury of adopting the appropriate insight into just how complex it all was. I never counted
on climbing a learning curve that went up like a rocket.that is, nearly straight up for nearly two decades before it
leveled out a little!
Everyone remains dazzled by the "overnight success" story, the boy-wonder, or the golden
child who apparently never stumbled along the way. Consider 21 year-old Andy Roddick, America's darling and top-seeded tennis player going into the 2004 Australian Open. His rise to the top appears
to be "overnight." Contrast him to 22 year-old Taylor Dent, whose progress on the pro tour has been methodical rather
than meteoric. He finished 2003 ranked No. 32 after capturing three titles. Even for a player pegged for greatness since
his teens-his father, Phil, an Australian, was a finalist there in 1974, and his mother, Betty Ann (Grubb) Stuart, was
a top-10 player in the USA-it hasn't always come easy. Said Dent: "I'd be full of it if I said that I wish I hadn't
had the early success that Andy did. That's what I want more than anything. But I'm happy for Andy. For me, I really needed
this learning curve to understand my game."
(1) Robson, Douglas. "Serve-and-volleyer Dent fitter, playing smarter." USA Today, 2004 January
21; p. 2, http://www.usatoday.com.
Exactly.
And what happened is that his net-game improved. Serve-and-volleyers-Dent's claim to fame-typically mature later. But this
Newport Beach, California resident elevated his game by raising his
fitness level during the last year-including cutting back
on junk food-and focusing on what he does best: attack.
(2) Ibid.
U.S. Davis Cup captain Patrick McEnroe said of Dent: "He's playing smarter.which makes his attacking game more
effective.he's playing more judiciously."
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